New Journey: Changes are a Comin'

This may just look like a picture of Isaac at the zoo with a silly goat that's trying to get away from crazy little hands that don't have food in them. However, I see something much greater.

 

I see a promise from God that my Isaac will do great things in his life. Abraham was so faithful. Faithful enough to sacrifice his only son when God told him to. Because he trusted that God would provide a way out, he got as close to killing his son as possible. He passed the test and instead of sacrificing his son, God provided a ram, caught in the thicket. Abraham's son, Isaac, walked away unharmed!

 

I desire a faith that strong. However, I don't want the tests that come along with them. Through tears and complete surrender, God has shown me how he has placed rams (goats) along our path. We've never had a near death experience but, there are fears and worries that haunt me as a parent. I'm learning to let go of Isaac in a way that I can deal with. God knows I'm not as strong as Abraham.

 

Isaac going to kindergarten was one way that I was struggling to let go. I knew it was my first test! I know, it's supposed to be something that you just do and everyone does it! All moms cry the first week and can't wait to rush to the door and hug their little babies. I prayed that if he is to leave me five days a week for six hours at a time, then give me a peace about it.

 

The peace never came and never came and never came...

 

We toured a school and it was wonderful! The kids loved Isaac. He fit right in. The teacher was great. I loved the staff!

 

But... The peace never came!

 

Homeschooling kept popping in my head. Sure I was homeschooled and I was a teacher soooo, it only makes sense that I would homeschool my kids. Of course I had talked about it when Isaac was itty bitty but when it actually came time to consider it, I freaked out. Isaac is a perfectionist. Its takes him five tries to get the perfect capitol "I" for his name! I'm very impatient. The two don't mix. Besides, God was working on me to let Isaac GO, not keep him HOME!

 

My emotions have been off the charts about Isaac and kindergarten this fall. How could I homeschool? How could I teach Isaac all he needed to know and still entertain Parker and Blake? 

I, I, I, I. I was making it all about me!

 

Now this is where the praying really got serious.

 

God, if you want me to let go, I will. God, if you want me to homeschool, I will. Both options were equally good AND hard. I was done weighing pros and cons and just wanted the best answer.

 

Feeling the lead push/shove to homeschool, I sat down and read a verse in Proverbs.

 

Be exalted in your strength, Lord;

 we will sing and praise your might!

Proverbs 21:13

 

It finally hit me. It's not about my strength, It's about God's strength! Instead of worrying and making this problem bigger than it was, I just needed to praise Him.

 

We called the wonderful school and told them that Isaac would not be joining them in the fall.

 

Once again, God was letting me keep my Isaac.

 

I still have no idea what I'm doing. All I have is a peace (that surpasses all understanding), a start date, and a kid that needs to learn something!

 

Thankfully we will be connected with a charter school and Isaac will have an Education Specialist (which is a friend of ours. I'd like to give a shout out to Krista Gradias) and will attend enrichment classes every Thursday. I'm also thankful that he will get another year in Bible Study Fellowship on Tuesdays. His name is still on a waiting list at the school where he would go M-W-F (all day) and be home T-Th. In the meantime, we are going to get Sea World passes, LEGOLAND passes, and use the heck out of our trailer by learning on the road!

 

Whoever said vacations should only be enjoyed in the summer?! Not us! :)